JANUARY 2023 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Representative Elise Stefanik (R-NY). Stefanik has gone too far in pursuing her ambitions. It did not have to be this way. But she doubled down where better politicians would have laid low. And now — as she nears the pinnacle of power — she has sown the seeds of her destruction. In one disastrously short-sighted play, she has remained silent on George Santos.

We should not be surprised. Stefanik has no spine. Nor any core beliefs or values. She has become the most cynical of Republican politicians since she made the political calculus that throwing all-in with Trump would grease her skids to power. So far, it has worked like a charm. She is Chair of the House Republican Conference (#3 in the GOP House hierarchy) and days away from being a senior member of the majority party. It is a position she worked hard for and achieved by burning down at least as many political bridges as she built. And it required a sea change in her philosophy.

Stefanik entered Congress in January 2015 as the youngest female member to date. She was not then a MAGA. Instead, she was cut from Northeastern Republican cloth. A Harvard graduate, she worked for Paul Ryan before holding office and became his protégé in Congress.

Vocal in criticism of Trump’s lies during his 2015-16 campaign, she had a solid in with the sane center of the Republican party. And she could have been the standard-bearer for forward-looking conservatism before the noxious miasma of Trumpism grabbed control of the Republican Party.

Sadly, her moderation did not last. After Trump won in 2016, she cast her lot with the orange malevolence and became a Trump groupie. It got so extreme that in a press conference in May 2022, she declared,

"I am ultra-MAGA, and I'm proud of it."

Her public adoration for Trump has grown since she supported him in his first impeachment by the House in 2019. The GOP selected her to be on his defense team during the 2020 impeachment trial in the Senate. As she simpered about it in a press release,

“I am honored to be named by President Trump as a Member of his Impeachment Defense Team. I am proud to stand up for the Constitution, my constituents in New York’s 21st District, and the American people’s vote.”

Like so many Republicans, Stefanik believes that because she won a majority in one rural upstate district, she speaks for all American voters. Although she made a mockery of that loyalty to the voter when she signed on to Trump’s election fraud lie. Saying things like,

"More than 140,000 votes came from underage, deceased, and otherwise unauthorized voters" in Fulton County, GA. 

This was far from her only fact-free, court-dismissed claims. She enumerated a laundry list in an open letter to her hometown newspaper, The Sun. Another local newspaper, the Times Record, swatted them away in an analysis, under the title, “Fact check: Stefanik's defense includes rejected legal claims, debunked theories”.

Stefanik made her most ridiculous claim in May 2021 when she called Trump the "strongest supporter of any president when it comes to standing up for the Constitution." Trump put paid to her hagiographic excess when he posted on Truth Social,

“Do you throw the Presidential Election Results of 2020 OUT and declare the RIGHTFUL WINNER, or do you have a NEW ELECTION? A Massive Fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution.”

Political pundits believe that Stefanik’s political idolatry is a maneuver to promote her as a candidate for Trump’s running mate in 2024. Why? She is 38. If she attaches herself to Trump — a piece of foolishness that has cost many a political career — she will be a has-been loser by 40.

Not that she has much future in the House. The GOP has declared it will launch two years of Bengahzi-style kamikaze investigations into the Bidens, Fauci, DoJ, FBI, and every other acronym in the administration. They will expose themselves as idea-free, rabid dogs raging over imaginary bones while the independent voter will wonder what the GOP’s policies are and why they do not change their medication.

She is so spineless. If she thinks Santos has done nothing wrong or at least deserves a chance, where is her support? Her silence is not the act of a good teammate. On the other hand, if she thinks his lies have fatally compromised him, then where is her condemnation? She is not a politician scared to say dumb things. Why is she mute now?

And worst for her, her groveling solicitation of Trump’s political affections has been sneered at by the object of her esteem. Talk of her being Trump's running mate has, the New York Times reports, engendered "bemusement."  After all, he may have Marj Taylor Green on the mind.

2. Failed Arizona Governor Candidate, Kari Lake. Kevin McCarthy sure wasted his time trying to become Speaker, he should have spared the drama and just declared he won and was already speaker! Forget about Matt Gaetz and company. Italian satellites have downlinked to Gaetz’s head and are forcing him to do weird things. A loose, feral panda ate a shipment of bamboo ballots and has been crapping out counterfeit Boebert brains like watermelon Pez.

Dude! Just say you won! After all, mouth-frothing delusion is the Republican way.

Enter Kari Lake, the answer to a question no one has asked for almost two months now. Her Arizona gubernatorial bid ended in November, but she’s persisted in her delusions with a Trumpian tenacity that would be simply adorable coming from a 6-year-old. The difference being that a 6-year-old would eventually move on to more productive endeavors, like eating random wads of Play-Doh and refusing to climb into the back of Ted Cruz’s windowless white van.

But Lake has shown no such maturity, and as the actual Arizona governor-elect, Katie Hobbs prepared for her inauguration, Lake was once again raging against the dying of the filtered light.

On the right-wing network Real America’s Voice, which is essentially what Fox News would be if they wore their Hitler underoos on the outside of their pants, Lake confidently asserted that she was the “duly elected governor” of Arizona. Because why the fuck not, huh?

LAKE: “It gets worse, I mean, with President Trump they did this in the middle of the night, and our movement was so big and so powerful that they couldn’t just do this in the middle of the night. They had to pull out all the stops and do this in broad daylight, so everyone saw it. The way we get it changed is we get the real governor, the duly elected governor, myself in there to work with lawmakers to change our laws, put some teeth into the laws, and frankly we need to recall every one of the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors.”

Okay then! Guess “duly elected governor” means something different these days. Whew! I thought I’d lost all touch with reality for a moment.

Of course, not only is Lake not the duly elected governor of Arizona, she’s been rebuked by the courts for being a public nuisance. A judge threw out her lawsuit challenging the election and ordered her to pay Hobbs’ legal fees. She now wants to bypass the Arizona Supreme Court, which she says is too slow, and go directly to the SCOTUS.

Who knows where Lake ends up, other than the very bottom of the dustbin of history? Or maybe she can find a little nook to nest in at Mar-a-Lago, where she can be tasked with guarding stolen nuclear documents like a super-upbeat bridge troll.

3. North Carolina Lt. Gov Mark Robinson. Robinson will most likely be the GOP nominee for North Carolina Governor. If he announces, as expected, he will likely face NC Attorney General Josh Stein, who will running to replace moderate Democrat Roy Cooper who cannot run again. Stein, who sports a long resume of public service and involvement in politics, would be a trailblazer if he wins” the state’s first Jewish governor.

Robinson would also be a trailblazer as the state’s first Black governor. Lest you think that the NC Republican Party might turn a more inclusive corner, Robinson is extremism incarnate: a gun-loving, gay-bating, anti-science and primed for conspiracy theories, with a garnish of antisemitism to round out his plate.

In an article in The Assembly, journalist Tim Funk pointedly captured the gospel according to Mark Robinson; “The United States is a Christian nation, guns are part of God’s plan, abortion is murder, climate change is “Godless … junk science,” and the righteous, especially men, should follow the example of Jesus who cleansed the temple armed with a whip, and told his disciples to make sure they packed a sword.”

In other words, a real Republican.

Robinson is extremely popular with the Republican base as well as the rank and file. (Would you think anything different?) He would be favored to win in a state that boasts two Republican senators, the most recently elected one, Ted Budd, beat his Democratic opponent by more than three percentage points in November. They also elected a Republican majority to their Supreme Court.

What happens in the nation’s ninth most populous state, how low Republicans will sink, and how far they can nonetheless get. to be determined.

4. House Speaker Kevin McCarthy. You have to give Speaker McCarthy credit for one thing at least: He’s handling interviewers’ questions about Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene with marginally more aplomb than Jerry Seinfeld being asked about the puffy shirt. And, she’s way, way more embarrassing than any single item of clothing, no matter how evocative of stale sweat and barnacles it might be.

For one thing, Seinfeld’s puffy shirt merely said, “Hey, I’m a pirate!” Whereas, for McCarthy, Greene’s presence on House committees clearly states, “No going back for seconds on my soul ‘til Satan gets a piece!”

Because McCarthy’s Republican House majority is so razor thin, he’s forced to bow to the nation's foremost extremist warrior, prompting his face to seize up like a first-gen Furby being asked to explain string theory to Louie Gohmert. So, you get mortifying exchanges—like the following between McCarthy and journalist Margaret Brennan.

From Sunday’s edition of Face the Nation:

Transcript!

McCARTHY: “These are members who just got elected by their constituents, and we put them into committees, and I’m proud to do it.”

BRENNAN: “Let me ask you about some specifics then. Marjorie Taylor Greene, you put her on a new subcommittee to investigate the origins of COVID.”

McCARTHY: “Yes.”

BRENNAN: “She compared mask requirements to the type of abuse Jews were subjected to during the Holocaust, she called for Fauci to be arrested and imprisoned, and she spread conspiracy theories. How’s anyone supposed to take that work seriously and find that work credible?”

McCARTHY: “Very well. You look at all of it, so you have all the questions out there …

BRENNAN: “You think these are legitimate questions?”

McCARTHY: “I think what the American public wants to see is an open dialogue in the process. This is a select committee where people could have all the questions they want and you’ll see the outcome.”

Oh, God, that was embarrassing. Tell me his face wasn’t about to turn redder than Trump’s after yet another lost weekend spent bobbing for fondue. And do we really want someone who asks “all the questions”? Some of those questions are really goofy, Kev. Or maybe you hadn’t noticed.

Unfortunately, McCarthy’s alliance of convenience with Greene has also landed her on the House Oversight and Homeland Security committees. Fortunately, Biden insiders see that largely as a good thing—at least with respect to Oversight.

The panel tasked with probing Biden policies and actions, as well as the president’s own family, will be stocked with some of the chamber’s biggest firebrands and die-hard Trumpists — including Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.), Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.) and Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) — ideal figureheads for a White House eager to deride the opposition party as unhinged.

No administration wants to feel the heat of congressional investigations, and Biden’s team is no different. But privately, the president’s aides sent texts to one another with digital high fives and likened their apparent luck to drawing an inside straight. One White House ally called it a “political gift.”

...“[W]ith these members joining the Oversight Committee,” White House oversight spokesperson Ian Sams said in a statement, “it appears that House Republicans may be setting the stage for divorced-from-reality political stunts, instead of engaging in bipartisan work on behalf of the American people.”

Good thing, or not, what is almost certain is that Greene et. al.. are not done embarrassing their leader.

5. Rep. Jim Banks (R-Indiana). It hasn’t even been a month since the federal government announced that pharmacies would be permitted to dispense so-called abortion pills under a rules change from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), and Republican leaders in several conservative states are freaking out. Without even trying to hide it, GOP officials are looking to ban abortion completely.

As many predicted, the overturn of Roe v. Wade was only the beginning. From threatening individuals who seek abortion pills to introducing bills aiming to defund Planned Parenthood, Republican legislators are doing whatever they can to restrict reproductive rights.

But of course, the intention isn’t just to ban abortion in their respective states: Some lawmakers are even angry that those seeking abortions can travel beyond state lines.

On The Pat Miller show, Indiana Rep. Jim Banks expressed his anti-abortion views, noting that he doesn’t believe one should be able to seek care in other states.

Under the guise of “protecting the unborn,” Banks and his fellow Republicans are promoting inhumane policies that make reproductive health care inaccessible.

Banks may not be a well-known name, but he is certainly trying to be. He made headlines last week for announcing his campaign for the Senate seat held by GOP Sen. Mike Braun, who decided against running for reelection in 2024 and will run for Indiana governor instead.

The Trump-supporting candidate isn’t just anti-abortion; his overall views fit well with the party base. His campaign promises include increasing border security, imposing trade measures on China, and stopping transgender girls from competing in sports, and banning critical race theory.

"Radical, socialist Democrats are trying to change America, but I won't let them," Banks said in a video announcing his campaign. "I've been on the front lines fighting for America first policies in Congress.” "Indiana deserves a conservative fighter in the United States Senate, but the radical Democrats and the spineless Republicans are going to do everything they can to stop me," he said.

Other conservative “fighters” have taken up the cause: at least 26 states are “certain or likely” to ban or limit abortion due to the overturn of Roe v. Wade.

_________________________

And the January 2023 IGGY winner is:

Because we’re sure to be graced by hyper-hypocrites Elise Stefanik and Kevin McCarthy again as monthly IGGY nominees, and because I never want to hear another word about her, I’ve decided to give the January IGGY to the delusional, Trump clone, Kari Lake.