Thursday, May 31, 2018

MAY 2018 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY


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1. Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah). As many media outlets have reported, John McCain does not want Donald Trump at his funeral … because … well, who the hell would? If anyone could make someone else’s funeral all about himself, Trump could. But that’s not good enough for Hatch. Proving that congressional Republicans — even the ones on their way out of Congress — will go to all possible lengths to bow and scrape before their ocher overlord, Hatch recently vomited this pabulum:

"Well, he's the president of the United States and he's a very good man. But it's up to [McCain]. I think John should have his own wishes fulfilled with regard to who attends the funeral."

When asked about McCain’s desire to keep Trump away from his memorial service, Hatch said, “I think it's ridiculous."

Look, Sen. Hatch. McCain wants to be remembered for his military heroism, his more than 30 years in the Senate, his maverick sensibility, even his defeat at the hands of Barack Obama — anything but his tenuous association with Trump.

Trump being at McCain’s funeral would be a little like playing the Benny Hill theme over the closing credits of Saving Private Ryan. McCain deserves to be honored, not sullied by the presence of Bone Spurious the Yellow.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

APRIL 2018 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY AWARD: THE IGGY

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1. Devin Nunes. The Trump era has brought forth a multitude of ignominities. We seem to jump from crisis to crisis. In his first year in office, President Trump has visited numerous horrors on Americans as well as citizens throughout the world.

So, what does Devin Nunes, the Republican chairman of the House Select Intelligence Committee, consider to be one of the most serious hazards facing America? Well, of course, it's late night television comedy, and specifically Stephen Colbert. Nunes was interviewed on Fox News by their resident Financial Distortion Anchor, Neil Cavuto. The segment had nothing to do with the economy, but it did get to the bottom of the frightening assault on America by radical satirists. It began with this probing exchange:

Cavuto: "You mention that the media doesn't present a fair case of [Trump/Russia]. Maybe the indication of that is that you've recently become the butt of late night comic jokes. Particularly Stephen Colbert was up on Capitol Hill. I think making you the butt of some jokes. What did you think of that? Did Colbert make any effort to talk to you?"

Nunes: "Well, I think that this is the danger that we have in this country. The left controls not only the universities in this country, but they also control Hollywood in this country, and the mainstream media. So, conservatives in this country are under attack and I think this is a great example of it."

Exactly. Stephen Colbert absolutely is "the danger" that America faces. And kudos to Cavuto for bringing up this looming peril. Where else but on Fox News could this travesty be exposed? Nunes points out that the reason the nation is undergoing such unprecedented turmoil is that leftists have seized control of the most powerful institutions in the country -- universities and Hollywood -- and are using them to enslave the minds of decent citizens. However, he doesn't explain why these scurrilous lefties allowed Republicans to control the Congress, the Supreme Court, and the White House.

Also unexplained is how the special counsel, Robert Mueller, managed to get (so far) 19 indictments and five guilty pleas connected to his investigation of Trump's unsavory connections to Russia. But rest assured, somehow it's the fault of universities, Hollywood, and Colbert. And Nunes isn't taking it lying down. He doesn't intend to be the butt of anyone's joke, no matter how much he deserves it. In fact, he likes it:

Nunes: "So I hope they continue to do it. Because on the one hand you'll see the left and the media running out there saying 'OMG, this is the end of the world. The Russians attacked our democracy. And we have evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russians.' However, they can't show it. They have no proof [...] they resort to going to their friends in Hollywood to make fun of people and attack people who are trying to get to the truth. I enjoy the attacks. If they want to continue to attack me, that's fine."

Well, we certainly wouldn't want to disappoint him, would we? Although it's puzzling that he says he enjoys it while simultaneously complaining that it's an unfair attack and a danger to the country. Is he an unpatriotic masochist?

Nunes' remarks were rife with allegations as to the identity of the real colluders -- naturally, Hillary Clinton and the Democrats. And when Cavuto asked him about allegations that he was "doing the President's bidding," he curiously replied "I don't know." Then quickly stammering to add "I mean, we don't get any orders from the White House." Which makes perfect sense. They are probably coming from Mar-A-Lago, where the President spends most of his time.

Nunes went on to praise his committee's work and insisted that he "follows the facts where they lead." So long as they lead to Clinton and the Democrats. He refused to allow his Democratic committee colleagues to call witnesses. And he wouldn't hold White House witnesses accountable when they refused to answer questions. Nunes falsely claimed that 'no one would know ... that Fusion GPS was paid by the Hillary Clinton campaign and the Democratic Party' but for his efforts. In fact, it was reported by the (fake?) media long before he ever got around to it. No surprise his committee subsequently ended its investigation of a possible connection between the Trump campaign and Russian meddling in our election.

Once again, Fox News uncovers the atrocities in Washington that are neglected by the "mainstream" media (which, for some reason doesn't include Fox News). And heroes like Devin Nunes are permitted time to inform the American people about what is really going on in this gawd-awful country. With journalism like this we will hopefully soon be rid of fake reporters like Colbert who are working tirelessly to destroy America.

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