FEBRUARY 2021 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson. If you want to catch Sen. Johnson in a lie, just ask him a question. If you merely want to catch him, put a peanut in a box with a hole that’s big enough for him to slide his hand through but not big enough for him to remove his closed fist. When you finally show up three days later, he’ll be so desperate for your help he’ll grant you three wishes.

So, yeah, it’s no surprise that Johnson has already disgorged the clumsiest and dumbest post-impeachment take you’re likely to hear from anyone in Congress.

In an interview today with conservative radio talk show host Jay Weber, RoJo said this:

"The fact of the matter is this didn’t seem like an armed insurrection to me. I mean armed, when you hear armed, don’t you think of firearms? Here’s the questions I would have liked to ask. How many firearms were confiscated? How many shots were fired? I’m only aware of one, and I’ll defend that law enforcement officer for taking that shot."

Good thing Rojo has set the record straight for we Americans who thought the attack on the Capitol was an insurrection. We need Johnson’s sharp analytical mind to make things clear for us, like World War II was just another street fight. Good thing Johnson set the media straight that Covid-19 is just a STD, Katrina was a Spring shower, and the February chill proves that global warming is a hoax.

Just when you think Senator Johnson can’t be any more asinine... Johnson claimed on Sunday that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was to blame for the riot at the US Capitol rather than President Donald Trump. While seeking to defend Trump, Johnson said in an interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo that the impeachment is part of a plot to divert attention from Pelosi, and what she "knew" ahead of the riot.

"Is this another diversionary operation? Is this meant to deflect away from potentially what the speaker knew and when she knew it? I don't know, but I'm suspicious," Johnson said of Pelosi.

Johnson had the delusional obstinance to claim he and Trump bore no responsibility for the mob attack on the Capitol and Congress, which was spurred by their repeated lies and false claims about the election.

What RoJo is attempting to posit here is that Nancy Pelosi anticipated the storming of the Capitol, and instead of taking measures to ensure its security, she allowed it to be overrun just to make Trump and Republicans look bad.

And you thought Louie Gohmert was moronic.

JANUARY 2021 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Ferris State University Professor Thomas Brennan. Although Brennan does not fit the “celebrity” criteria necessary for nomination for an IGGY, I’m making an exception in this professor’s case. The St. John university student newspaper, The Torch, covered comments Brennan made on a Twitter account under his full name about the novel coronavirus pandemic, as well as a number of slurs that allegedly appeared on the same account. According to screenshots, Professor Brennan allegedly tweeted that COVID-19 was a “stunt” to form “a leftist new world order.” According to MLive, during a virtual meeting for Ferris State University’s College of Arts, Sciences, and Education department in August, Brennan reportedly commented that “COVID-19 death rates in the United States were exaggerated, and the pandemic and rioting were leftist stunts.”

According to The Torch, the Twitter account also allegedly tweeted bizarre and horrifying remarks like “Covid19 is another jewish revolution” as well as homophobic and racial slurs. An anonymous student in a class of Brennan’s spoke to The Torch and reportedly told the outlet that the professor talks about conspiracy theories related to cellphones during class time.

In terms of racial slurs, Brennan wrote that he is “not racist against black people,” added that he loves and respects them, and argued, “the ’n-word’ is a mind-control spell designed to make us hate each other.” He went on to say that he used the word in order to “neutralize” its power. Yikes!

In speaking to local outlet wzzm 13, Brennan explained that he didn’t use the N-word “lightly,” and suggested that we’re “heading towards such a crescendo of madness where we're about to all be enslaved because of this COVID crisis." He added to the outlet that he said “some hyperbolic things to draw attention to what it is I wanted to say.”

In response to the controversy evoked by Brennan, FSU President, David Eisler, said: “We strongly reject these statements, condemn them and will not tolerate them. We have worked diligently to become a more diverse university, and these statements demonstrate vividly how one person can set back the work of many.” Brennan has been on administrative leave since Nov. 19, though it’s unclear whether the leave is specific to the alleged Twitter remarks, the COVID-19 remarks during the August meeting, both, or neither.

Brennan is clearly the kind of scientist Republicans can get behind.