SEPTEMBER 2022 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Senator Tim Scott (R-SC). Have you heard of RepublicanMD? It’s just like WebMD, except it’s based on GOP talking points instead of science. So, for instance, if your kid has rickets, WebMD might tell you to give her vitamin D supplements tout de suite, whereas, at RepublicanMD, the prescription for every affliction is always more upper-class tax cuts. Hey, it’s just common sense.

Of course, RepublicanMD is even more misleading when it comes to reproductive health care. Conservatives tend to be against sex education in schools, and, hoo-boy, does it ever show. It’s like they all learned about sex by watching dogs in their neighborhood give elliptical TED Talks about “late-term abortions” and “legitimate rape.”

The latest Republican womb-bat to stick his foot in his mouth is South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott, who recently sent out a fundraising email insisting that “if we don’t take back the Senate, Dems will pack the courts, give DC statehood, grant abortions up to 52 weeks, and Republicans will never win again.”

52 weeks? What on God’s green globule is this man talking about? I thought full-term pregnancy was 40 weeks. While a woman can’t be pregnant for 52 weeks, Scott’s idiocy seems terminal. For the good of the country, he should have his brain (if he has one) terminated immediately.

It would be nice, however, if the rest of Scott’s dystopian hellscape rambling would come to pass. Court packing, DC statehood? Why not? You can toss in Puerto Rico statehood in the mix.

This kind of doofus doctoring is all to common within the GOP. For instance, in 2019, when asked if incest victims could still procure abortions under a bill he was proposing, Alabama state Sen. Clyde Chambliss said, “Yes, until she knows she’s pregnant.”

Nuff said!