MAY 2024 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH:THE IGGY

1. Presidential Candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Kennedy’s presidential candidacy is a stale meme that’s yet to go viral, unlike the more than 100 US children who’ve contacted measles so far this year because some silver spoon loaf-brain told their parents vaccinations were for losers/.

But while Kennedy is likely to become president right around the time Donald Trump scrawls a working unified field theory into his mashed potatoes, that doesn’t mean that he isn’t still dangerous. It’s unclear whether Kennedy will draw more votes from Biden or Trump, but this “Democrat” turned independent has a lot more in common with Trump than any Democrat.

The latest evidence that Kennedy is more dog-whistling, conspiracy reactionary than True Blue Democrat comes in the form of a podcast interview he did with right-winger Tim Pool.

His answer on Confederate statues—and the appropriateness of “honoring” a seditious, virulently racist government that barely lasted four years—could have come from any Southern Republican. Or, if you sprinkled in a few non sequiturs about the apocalyptic repercussions of low-flow shower heads, from Trump himself.

Asked if he condemned the melting down of the Robert E. Lee statue in Charlottesville, Virginia, Kennedy “responded that he didn’t like it at all. Nope, not one bit.

“I have a visceral reaction against the attacks on those statues. I grew up in Virginia. I know that there were heroes in the Confederacy who didn’t have slaves. I just have a visceral reaction to destroying history. I don’t like it. I think we should celebrate who we are, and that, you know, we should celebrate the good qualities of everybody. If we want to find people who were completely virtuous on every issue throughout history we would erase all of history. And, you know, values change throughout history and we need to be able to be sophisticated enough to live with, you know, our ancestors who didn’t agree with us on everything and who did things that are now regarded as immoral or wrong. Because maybe they had other qualities that we want to celebrate, and clearly Robert E. Lee had extraordinary qualities of leadership and, you know ... I wouldn’t have done that.

Of course, there are several ways to debunk Kennedy’s horribly shopworn “argument.” First of all, as University of Chicago history professor Jane Daily told NPR in 2017—while Confederate iconography was being dismantled across the country and Trump was vigorously defending it—Confederate statues were never really about honoring anyone’s heritage.

“Most of the people who were involved in erecting the monuments were not necessarily erecting a monument to the past," said Dailey, “but were rather erecting them toward a white supremacist future.”

Indeed, most of the statues went up well after the end of the Civil War—during periods of notable progress for Black Americans.

Meanwhile, the good citizens of Germany—who clearly have no intention of erasing the history of World War II, lest its grave sins be forgotten—nevertheless manage to get through each new day without engaging in knock-down, drag-out fights over Nazi flags and Hitler statues.

Kennedy is smart enough to know this, of course, so it’s worth asking whether his answer is just right-wing agitprop meant to signal to MAGA voters that he’s a viable option for them. After all, he’s running against a guy who reportedly said “Hitler did a lot of good things.” (If Germany is determined to bury its short-lived Nazi “heritage,” Trump appears equally as determined to resurrect it.)

If we’re lucky, Trump’s and Kennedy’s race to the bottom will end in tears for both of them as they split the bonkers vote, and Joe Biden, this cycle’s only reasonable presidential hopeful, will easily prevail. And if not—well, hope you really dig polio, man.

2. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. Yes, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito flew an upside-down flag at his Virginia home shortly after the Jan. 6 riot at the Capitol—widely understood as a “Stop the Steal” nod among Donald Trump’s insurrectionist supporters.

And yes, he flew an “Appeal to Heaven” flag---another favorite among insurrectionists and Christian nationalists—at his New Jersey beach house.

No, he won’t be recusing himself from any insurrection-related cases before the court, despite many calls for him to do, because he did nothing wrong and, also, it’s his wife’s fault anyway.

It's revealing to look at some choice quotes in a letter Alito sent to Dick Durbin and Sheldon Whitehouse, the leading Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee, responding to their letter requesting that he recuse himself from Supreme court cases involving the January 6 riot.o 

First, he didn’t even know about the flag, but also, his wife refused to remove it when he found out about it by … looking outside his window?

“The first incident cited in your letter concerns the flying of an upside-down American flag outside the house in Virginia where my wife and I reside. In considering whether this event requires recusal, an unbiased and reasonable person would take into account the following facts. As I have stated publicly, I had nothing whatsoever to do with the flying of that flag. I was not even aware of the upside-down flag until it was called to my attention. As soon as I saw it, I asked my wife to take it down, but for several days, she refused.”

Also, she was super upset because someone said a swear at her. And that’s why she had to signal her support for the attempted coup to overthrow an election.

My wife’s reasons for flying the flag are not relevant for present purposes, but I note that she was greatly distressed at the time due, in large part, to a very nasty neighborhood dispute in which I had no involvement. A house on the street displayed a sign attacking her personally, and a man who was living in the house at the time trailed her all the way down the street and berated her in my presence using foul language, including what I regard as the vilest epithet that can be addressed to a woman.

Plus, the Constitution says she can support an insurrection if she wants to, so there.

My wife is a private citizen, and she possesses the same First Amendment rights as every other American. She makes her own decisions, and I have always respected her right to do so.

The second incident concerns a flag bearing the legend “An Appeal to Heaven” that flew in the backyard of our vacation home in the summer of 2023. I recall that my wife did fly that flag for some period of time, but I do not remember how long it flew. And what is most relevant here, I had no involvement in the decision to fly that flag.

She just really fucking loves flags, OKAY?

My wife is fond of flying flags. I am not. My wife was solely responsible for having flagpoles put up at our residence and our vacation home and has flown a wide variety of flags over the years. In addition to the American flag, she has flown other patriotic flags (including a favorite flag thanking veterans), college flags, flags supporting sports teams, state and local flags, flags of nations from which the ancestors of family members came, flags of places we have visited, seasonal flags, and religious flags. I was not familiar with the “Appeal to Heaven” flag when my wife flew it. She may have mentioned that it dates back to the American Revolution, and I assumed she was flying it to express a religious and patriotic message.

Even though she is super into flags, she had no idea what the flags she was flying actually meant—not that there’s anything wrong with flying a flag that represents the desire to see America officially turned into a Christian theocracy. Totally normal and constitutional.

I was not aware of any connection between this historic flag and the “Stop the Steal Movement,” and neither was my wife. She did not fly it to associate herself with that or any other group, and the use of an old historic flag by a new group does not necessarily drain that flag of all other meanings.

As I said in reference to the other flag event, my wife is an independently minded private citizen. She makes her own decisions, and I honor her right to do so. Our vacation home was purchased with money she inherited from her parents and is titled in her name.

In closing, normal, reasonable people—obviously not Democratic senators or any other American who has dared to question Alito’s ability to be impartial—can see this is totes no big so screw you.

I am confident that a reasonable person who is not motivated by political or ideological considerations or a desire to affect the outcome of Supreme Court cases would conclude that the events recounted above do not meet the applicable standard for recusal. I am therefore required to reject your request.

The idea that Alito should be involved in considering any case connected with Trump, Jan. 6, or the 2020 election completely violates any concept of judicial ethics. This isn’t just the appearance of a conflict. It’s a conflict.

_________________________

And the May IGGY winner is:

With no justification necessary, the May winner is Supreme Court “Justice” Samuel Alito.