SEPTEMBER 2023 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Arizona Rep. Paul Goaar. Gosar continues to spew hate-filled, misinformed invective out into the public sphere. On his official government website, Gosar unspooled a conspiracy theory in which former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Gen.Mark Milley knew there would be trouble at the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, and teamed up against Donald Trump to let it happen. Then he added, “In a better society, quislings like the strange sodomy-promoting General Milley would be hung.”

According to Gosar, “General Milley, the homosexual-promoting-BLM-activist Chairman of the military joint chiefs,” is a “traitor” who has been “also secretly coordinating and sharing intelligence with the Chinese military.” It’s a lot of hooey to take in at once. Much of this is predicated on long debunked claims made by Donald Trump Jr. that Pelosi was the person who rejected the National Guard’s presence at the Capitol grounds on Jan. 6.

Gosar’s statements come shortly after disgraced former President Trump screamed a similar attack by way of his failing Truth social platform. He claimed that a purported call Milley had with Chinese officials on Jan. 6—in which the general reportedly reassured the Chinese government that the United States wasn’t being thrown into chaos—was ”an act so egregious that, in times gone by, the punishment would have been DEATH.”

Retired Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling told CNN that Gosar’s and Trump’s statements concerning Milley were “disgusting,” and it showed how “deeply disturbed” the two men are. At the same time, Gosar being a disgusting and disturbed person is not new information. In fact, his own family has campaigned against him. Calling him a “trairor” and publicly demanded he be investigated for his part in facilitating the attempted coup on Jan. 6.

In contrast to traditional GOP support for the military, today’s party extremists with their racist slurs and seeming indifference to how a government shutdown (not to mention Tuberville’s bigoted war on military readiness) would harm our troops, demonstrates how much they’ve abandoned long-standing conservative principles. They’ve become the party of racism, homophobia, xenophobia, hate, intolerance, autocracy and. revenge. I shutter at where this might lead. Gosar for President in 2028?

2. Brandon Fellows, January 6 Rioter. Ignominious nominees must have an element of evilness in their character. Brandon Fellows has that, but he’s also absurdly stupid.

They say anyone who acts as their own lawyer has a fool for a client. Very true. In fact, the only thing that could possibly be more foolish is hiring Rudy Giuliani. Fellows is finding this out the hard way as he defends himself against felony charges related to former President Donald Trump’s Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection. Not only that, Fellows is thumbing his nose at the entire proceeding in a way that any lawyer—competent or otherwise—would almost certainly advise against.

For one thing, not only is he showing no remorse, but also he’s openly praising the actions of his fellow insurrectionists, saying Jan. 6 was a “beautiful day” and claiming on the witness stand that “we had to take the election back. It was stolen.”

But it gets worse. Somehow.

Fellows faces a federal felony charge of obstruction of an official proceeding and aiding and abetting, along with misdemeanors, in connection with the Capitol attack. He's also accused of smoking marijuana inside a hideaway office of Sen. Jeff Merkley, D-Ore.

"I didn't know it was a senator's desk," Fellows said. "It felt very comfy."

Fellows said he believed he was fighting "the corrupt government" on Jan. 6, but he said he didn't take part in violence himself, even if he supported it. Fellows said he believed some violence on Jan. 6 was preferable to more violence down the line. “It’s the people’s house,” Fellows said. “We had the right to overthrow it.”

Sure, you don’t want a lawyer, dude? Anyone? Even Sidney Powell would do a better job than this.

At one point during the proceedings, U.S. District Judge Trevor N. McFadden said Fellows, 29, had given up his right to a rebuttal because, as NBC News notes, “when he answered the questions during the government's cross-examination, he offered a running commentary and avoided answering yes-or-no questions.”

Fellows—who lived in a school bus before being taken into pretrial detention in June 2021—has already gotten into deep doodleberries with the judge. He was held in contempt of court Tuesday, and sentenced to five months in prison to be served at the conclusion of the trial after the Trump supporter mumbled, “I would expect nothing less from a kangaroo court" as he stepped away from the witness stand. He later added: “I truly do like the fact that those senators and congressman were in fear for their lives.”

Prosecutors also noted that, following the riot, Fellows posted on social media that he was proud of what he did and hoped members of Congress would “live in constant fear.”

Gee, maybe Giuliani actually would have been a better legal representative than Fellows himself. And that’s taking into account that Fellows’ plea deal would have almost certainly included whiskey sour Big Gulps and biweekly conjugal visits to Tijuana for his attorney.

A jury found Fellows guilty of felony obstruction of felony obstruction of an official proceeding, felony entering and remaining in a restricted building. The jury also found Fellows guilty of three related misdemeanor offenses.

Sentencing to follow.

3. Extreme Right Ignomaniacs Marjorie Taylor Green and Laura Loomer. Nothing like witnessing a pair of extreme right MAGA loonies going at each other. Delicioujs!

On Thursday, following ex-Proud Boys’ organizer Joe Bigg’s well-earned 17-year prison sentence, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene felt compelled to tweet her poor understanding of the law. She wrote, “If Biggs had plead guilty to planning to kill a member of congress he would have only gotten 3 months like the man in NY in my case did, but no he gets 17 years for being mad about the election and going in the Capitol.” That’s certainly a reductionist take on someone convicted of “seditious conspiracy,” but tomato-tomahtoh.

Anti-Muslim bigot failed congressional candidate and MAGA luminary Laura Loomer retweeted a response to Greene’s statement, writing, “You could have done something about it but you didn’t.” Loomer went on to accuse Greene of doing nothing to fund raise for the “Proud Boys defense fund,” going so far as to say, “I know for a fact that his legal team contacted your office and asked for assistance and you never Helped him because they told me. And so did Joe.” I’m not giddy, you are!

This is the latest skirmish in the conservative movement’s ongoing civil war, and the two women have some history. Loomer has been able to ingratiate herself with Donald Trump and has made headlines with rumors that Trump wants her in his campaign. Greene, clearly not a fan of Loomer, has responded by publicly calling her “mentally unstable” and “a documented liar.” Loomer has responded in kind. None of that seems to have fazed Trump, who recently praised Loomer in a video as being “very special.”

Trump’s cult status in the Republican Party means that proving fealty is a frequent cause of infighting. One such skirmish is between Greene and the MAGA-wing bog she emerged from.

After the Georgia indictments were handed down last week, both Loomer and Greene appeared outside the Fulton County Jail in a show of support for Trump. In a video posted by @RonFilipkowski, Loomer can be heard heckling Greene as she talks to reporters, yelling, “Go tell Kevin McCarthy to endorse him [Trump]. Your best buddy, Marjorie.” As Greene began walking away, Loomer continued, “You know, the guy you shilled for, for speaker of the House? The guy that disavowed Trump after Jan. 6? Remember that, Marjorie?”

Soon after, Loomer accused Greene of trying to “suppress support for Trump,” saying that “Greene was behind publicizing the “infamous Mar-a-Lago dinner, that everyone likes to talk about, with Kanye West.”

The following day, Greene posted a video of herself working out, writing, “While jealous haters try to undermine and divide MAGA, I choose GRACE.” She added a cross emoji, a bicep emoji, a sunglasses emoji, and an American flag emoji for good measure.

Hell hath no fury like a MAGA nut scorned! Of course, MAGA world spends its entire existence feeling scorned by the universe, so that mostly leaves fury.

4. Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville. Poetry over the loudspeaker? Losing recruits? Admiral Rickover must be turning in his grave. What’s become of our great Navy? America’s dumbest senator knows.

Tuberville’s war on military readiness continues as he refuses to back down from his one-man blockade of top-level military promotions and confirmations. All because the military provides access to completely legal medical procedures for military members in need. Top military brass launched a public relations counteroffensive, taking their growing anger directly to the media. Recent polling shows Alabama voters want Tuberville’s stunt to end as much as military leaders do. 

On the defensive now, Tuberville is going on a PR tour of his own to defend his position in the face of growing criticism. On Fox News’ “The Ingraham Angle,” Tuberville was asked about the op-ed written by the secretaries of the Army, Navy, and Air Force, who lambasted Tuberville’s “dangerous hold on senior military officers..” Tuberville’s response was “anti-woke” nonsense:

“There's no second place in war, okay? We have to have the best. And right now, we are so woke in the military. We're losing recruits right and left. Secretary Del Toro of the Navy, he needs to get to building ships, he needs to get to recruiting, and he needs to get wokeness out of our Navy. We've got people doing poems on aircraft carriers over the loudspeaker. It is absolutely insane, the direction that we're headed in our military. And we're headed downhill, not uphill.”

For a man who ran a campaign that was jingoistically pro-veteran, even though evidence of his charity work for veterans was dubious, this is still quite a wow defense.

5. Florida Rep Matt Gaetz. Rumors have heated up that Gaetz wants to run for governor of Florida. NBC reported that with current Gov. Ron DeSantis facing term limits, Gaetz’s possible announcement was the topic of conversation in Tallahassee during a state legislative function the past few days. One longtime Florida Republican lobbyist told NBC, “There was a lot of talk about it at the reception last night, and Gaetz was telling people to basically expect him to be in.”

It’s clear Gaetz enjoys the spotlight. His public appearances over the past few months have seen him attacking everyone in his party not named Trump, and can be interpreted as him positioning himself to be the GOP’s next top Florida Man. Frankly, for those who have watched Gaetz’s craven political theater these past few years, it’d be more shocking if he didn’t run for a higher office.

Gaetz has the kind of detestable personality that inspires reactions, both voluntary and involuntary, and this news was no different.

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And the September IGGY winner is:

In a notable ignominious field of candidates, this month it’s no contest: the September IGGY recipient is Arizona Senator Paul Gosar.