MARCH 2021 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson. This is becoming a habit. In a Senate hearing investigating the security breakdown at the capitol, instead of asking the witnesses questions, as senators are expected to do, Johnson pulled out a statement from the leader of an anti-Muslim hate group, to explain why his “eyewitness” testimony was more valuable than that of any of the police officers on the scene, or the 300 million Americans who watched the tragedy unfold in real time. That’s because this witness had magic calibrated eyeballs, making him capable of discerning real Trump supporters from fake Antifa infiltrators.

Real Trump supporters are “jovial” and “friendly” people of the “working class.” But others don’t fit in. These people are, quoting now: “plain clothes militants, agent provocateurs, fake Trump protesters, and disciplined uniformed column of attackers.” These are the people who, according to Johnson, planned the attack on the Capitol.

But Johnson wasn’t done. Not by a long shot. According to his expert not-appearing-at-this-hearing witness, marchers were thrilled by the “courtesy gesture” of not seeing Capitol Police on every corner. With this invite, the Trump supporters “surged” toward the Capitol. In a good way. In a “talkative and happy” way. Because, after all, if they didn’t see any police trying to stop them, that was a perfect reason to step over, around, or through four levels of barricades between the street and the Capitol grounds.

Everyone was in “high spirits” until what “seemed like a scuffle” broke out between people in “ordinary clothes.” However, even though these people were wearing ordinary clothes that “fit right in with MAGA people,” Johnson’s expert could tell they were “plain clothes militants.” How he could tell is unexplained. Maybe he had X-ray specs. These people that looked exactly like regular Trump supporters but were clearly not as happy, talkative, jovial, or friendly got into a brief “tussle” with police. Then one of the police officers “fired a tear gas canister, not at the plain clothes militants at the front line, but into the crowd itself.” Apparently, police were unable to see the very subtle difference between good Trump supporters and evil fake Trump supporters that was obvious to Johnson’s pal.

This “changed the crowd’s demeanor” because “all of a sudden pro-police people felt like the police were attacking them,” read Johnson. “The pro-police crowd went from confusion, to anger.”

Then, having explained that the police were actually responsible for the deaths and injuries to police because they made all those jovial pro-police people angry, Johnson tried to enlist the police officials gathered in front of him in his claims that the police were to blame for Jan. 6. Shockingly, this did not go well. He started off asked former Capitol Police Chief Steven Sund if it wasn’t true that Trump supporters were pro-police. Sund’s reply was that he didn’t know about that. However, he did note that some of the people shoving their way through police lines and assaulting his officers actually claimed to be police themselves. Somehow, that’s a lot more believable than Johnson’s claims about “agent provocateurs.” Funny how the people who have been arrested so far look like Trump supporters.

If you know any “jovial” and “friendly” Trump supporters, please forward their names to me. I’ve been searching for over four years now.

FEBRUARY 2021 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson. If you want to catch Sen. Johnson in a lie, just ask him a question. If you merely want to catch him, put a peanut in a box with a hole that’s big enough for him to slide his hand through but not big enough for him to remove his closed fist. When you finally show up three days later, he’ll be so desperate for your help he’ll grant you three wishes.

So, yeah, it’s no surprise that Johnson has already disgorged the clumsiest and dumbest post-impeachment take you’re likely to hear from anyone in Congress.

In an interview today with conservative radio talk show host Jay Weber, RoJo said this:

"The fact of the matter is this didn’t seem like an armed insurrection to me. I mean armed, when you hear armed, don’t you think of firearms? Here’s the questions I would have liked to ask. How many firearms were confiscated? How many shots were fired? I’m only aware of one, and I’ll defend that law enforcement officer for taking that shot."

Good thing Rojo has set the record straight for we Americans who thought the attack on the Capitol was an insurrection. We need Johnson’s sharp analytical mind to make things clear for us, like World War II was just another street fight. Good thing Johnson set the media straight that Covid-19 is just a STD, Katrina was a Spring shower, and the February chill proves that global warming is a hoax.

Just when you think Senator Johnson can’t be any more asinine... Johnson claimed on Sunday that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was to blame for the riot at the US Capitol rather than President Donald Trump. While seeking to defend Trump, Johnson said in an interview with Fox News host Maria Bartiromo that the impeachment is part of a plot to divert attention from Pelosi, and what she "knew" ahead of the riot.

"Is this another diversionary operation? Is this meant to deflect away from potentially what the speaker knew and when she knew it? I don't know, but I'm suspicious," Johnson said of Pelosi.

Johnson had the delusional obstinance to claim he and Trump bore no responsibility for the mob attack on the Capitol and Congress, which was spurred by their repeated lies and false claims about the election.

What RoJo is attempting to posit here is that Nancy Pelosi anticipated the storming of the Capitol, and instead of taking measures to ensure its security, she allowed it to be overrun just to make Trump and Republicans look bad.

And you thought Louie Gohmert was moronic.

JANUARY 2021 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Ferris State University Professor Thomas Brennan. Although Brennan does not fit the “celebrity” criteria necessary for nomination for an IGGY, I’m making an exception in this professor’s case. The St. John university student newspaper, The Torch, covered comments Brennan made on a Twitter account under his full name about the novel coronavirus pandemic, as well as a number of slurs that allegedly appeared on the same account. According to screenshots, Professor Brennan allegedly tweeted that COVID-19 was a “stunt” to form “a leftist new world order.” According to MLive, during a virtual meeting for Ferris State University’s College of Arts, Sciences, and Education department in August, Brennan reportedly commented that “COVID-19 death rates in the United States were exaggerated, and the pandemic and rioting were leftist stunts.”

According to The Torch, the Twitter account also allegedly tweeted bizarre and horrifying remarks like “Covid19 is another jewish revolution” as well as homophobic and racial slurs. An anonymous student in a class of Brennan’s spoke to The Torch and reportedly told the outlet that the professor talks about conspiracy theories related to cellphones during class time.

In terms of racial slurs, Brennan wrote that he is “not racist against black people,” added that he loves and respects them, and argued, “the ’n-word’ is a mind-control spell designed to make us hate each other.” He went on to say that he used the word in order to “neutralize” its power. Yikes!

In speaking to local outlet wzzm 13, Brennan explained that he didn’t use the N-word “lightly,” and suggested that we’re “heading towards such a crescendo of madness where we're about to all be enslaved because of this COVID crisis." He added to the outlet that he said “some hyperbolic things to draw attention to what it is I wanted to say.”

In response to the controversy evoked by Brennan, FSU President, David Eisler, said: “We strongly reject these statements, condemn them and will not tolerate them. We have worked diligently to become a more diverse university, and these statements demonstrate vividly how one person can set back the work of many.” Brennan has been on administrative leave since Nov. 19, though it’s unclear whether the leave is specific to the alleged Twitter remarks, the COVID-19 remarks during the August meeting, both, or neither.

Brennan is clearly the kind of scientist Republicans can get behind.

DECEMBER 2020 IGNOMINIOUS ABUSRDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Trump Lawyer Joe DiGenova. During a call-in to the syndicated Howie Carr show simulcast at the ultra-rightwing Newsmax, lame duck Donald Trump’s lawyer Joe DiGenova called for executing Chris Krebs, the cybersecurity chief at the Department of Homeland Security that Trump fired by tweet.

“Anybody who thinks that this election went well, like that idiot Krebs who used to be the head of cybersecurity [for Trump]. That guy is a class A moron. He should be drawn and quartered. Taken out at dawn and shot,” diGenova said.

This is not just a random Parler troll trying to get attention. This is an attorney speaking on behalf of the President of the United States’ re-election campaign. And while it may read like a macabre joke, the direct nature of diGenova’s comments make it impossible to interpret as anything other than a real wish/threat against a public servant for offering truthful testimony. [...]

In addition to threatening Krebs, over the course of the interview diGenova made ominous and false suggestions about “circuit breakers” shutting down on election night in multiple states, which allowed for vote fraud; millions of votes showing up in dump trucks, tow trucks, and vans without detection; and he called on state legislatures to have the “cojones” to overturn the results of the election.

No doubt there will be an attempt by some to downplay this episode as just a joke rather than an incitement for someone among our nation’s heavily armed white supremacist loons to carry out.

A BRITISH WORD ON DONALD TRUMP

A Raging President

I’ve ranted a great deal over the last four years about Donald Trump’s disdain for democracy, his incompetence, racism, misogyny, crudeness, and fundamental indecency. He is the standard bearer for ignominious—a downright evil person. My biggest worry is that the legacy of his wholesale attack on our democracy will endure long past the orangutan’s ultimate departure from the political scene.

Trump epitomizes what our Founding Fathers feared most: an authoritarian figure who would violate the most sacred principles of democratic rule. Intolerant of anyone who opposed him, Trump intimidated and even called for the arrest of his political opponents (and even some allies who had the audacity to disagree with him). He has attacked the free press and threatened journalists. Disdainful of the rule of law, he has run a criminal fiefdom and obstructed justice when his actions came under scrutiny. He implemented nepotism and appointed people to key administrative posts whose only qualifications were to be loyal ass-kissers. The Donald claimed unbridled executive power and ran the White House as his own private duchy, making a mockery of the emolument clause. He has emboldened far right extremists to acts of violence and encouraged white supremacists to act out their hate. Abroad, he insulted some of out closest allies while embracing autocrats and despots, and, abandoned time-honored multilateral institutions the U.S. was instrumental in constructing.  His most dangerous anti-democratic legacy may be his attacks on the right to vote and the legitimacy of our elections.

Looking back on my years of venting on Trump, I realize I may have been guilty of overkill, much like the so-called liberal press which never missed an opportunity for an anti-Trump diatribe. What is left to say that hasn’t been said? What good is there is whipping a dead horse? Well, maybe one more time is permissible, not from me, but from Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England. White gives you a good feel for how Donald Trump is viewed from a European lens. I include his comments below:

NOVEMBER 2020 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Senator Elect Tommy Tuberville. Alabama has done one good thing in the past few decades: vote for Democratic candidate Doug Jones in 2017 over Roy Moore. Unfortunately, that respite from idiocy was not long-lived as Jones was defeated by a sizable majority by former Auburn University football coach, Republican Tommy Tuberville. Tuberville’s popularity in a state that worships football isn’t shocking. Alabama has been very conservative for some time and Tuberville did defeat former senator-turned Trump-footrest Jeff Sessions.

But being a good football coach doesn’t make you a good senator. In fact, it seems that not knowing virtually anything about laws or voting or the basic layout of our government is now the Republican brand. A few weeks before the election, a recording of Tuberville speaking with the Birmingham, Alabama, Sunrise Rotary Club was reported on. It showed that Tuberville’s grasp of what the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was is tenuous at best. Now, in a new interview with the Alabama Daily News, whether or not Tuberville knows what the branches of our government are is in question.

Asked for his thoughts on whether Republicans and Democrats could work more harmoniously this coming 2021, Senator-elect Tuberville explained that government, voting, elections, and stuff is totally gonna happen.

TUBERVILLE: Yeah and that’s how our government was set up. You know, our government wasn’t set up for one group to have all three of branches of government. It wasn’t set up that way, our three branches, the House, the Senate and executive.

I guess someone forgot to tell Tuberville about the judicial branch or that the House and Senate are not separate branches. My three-year-old grandson knows that.

Since winning the election, the “X”s and “O”s guy has repeatedly informed the public that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about outside of football. On Thursday, during an acceptance speech in Montgomery, he told that crowd that his father, a WW2 veteran, helped to liberate “Paris from socialism and communism.” 

Yup. Good job, Alabama. Let’s hope you can muster up the sensibility to liberate Alabama from Tuberville in 2026.

OCTOBER 2020 IGNOMINIOUS ABSURDITY OF THE MONTH: THE IGGY

1. Fox News’ Erin Perrine. I thought I’d seen everything from this campaign, but “Donald Trump has firsthand experience with COVID-19 and Joe Biden doesn’t” has to be the wackiest political spin ever. Trump campaign aid Erin Perrine was on Fox News this month and, man, these are some mental gymnastics. We’re not talking Simone Biles here. More like the Dude’s landlord.

The real cray-cray starts at around 4:35:

PERRINE: “And listen, he has experience as commander in chief, he has experience as a businessman, he has experience now fighting the coronavirus as an individual. Those firsthand experiences — Joe Biden, he doesn’t have those. He doesn’t know what it’s like to create a job other than Hunter’s. Joe Biden doesn’t know what it’s like to have to stand up and serve as commander in chief of this country. Joe Biden’s been more worried about China than he has been about the United States. Those firsthand experiences are what are going to get President Trump four more years.”

To sum up: Joe Biden doesn’t have the experience of declaring bankruptcies, stiffing students a pay-for-degree private college, losing more money in a decade that probably anyone else in the U.S., illegally shaking down other countries to try to convince them to interfere in our election, paying women for silence, or stupidly contracting a virus because he refused to take even the simplest preventive measures.

So, because Donald Trump has been a fuckup his entire life, you have to VOTE TRUMP!

Makes total sense, right?